Private Lessons

My daughter started t-ball at age 4. I wanted her to have fun, complete the session, evaluate, and then see if we wanted to participate in another session. She was 4 going on 5 and I wasn't really looking for anything more than her playing in the dirt and showing a spark of interest. The next year she was asked to play on a 5 year old team so we signed her up. It was then I got a little glimpse of what it was going to be like to be a sports parent.

I have mentioned I know little about the technical aspects of the sports my children play and I like it that way. I want to watch and cheer. Period. One day after her softball practice a parent was calling to me across the field wanting to ask me a question. I had no idea what he was going to ask me and I certainly was not prepared for what came out of his mouth. He looked at me and asked who I took my daughter to for hitting lessons? Ummm... what? Hitting lessons? At age 5? I didn't even know hitting lessons were a thing and I found it odd I was supposed to take her to someone other than her own coach? I had to call my sister to get some clarification on this one because my nephew played baseball and I wanted to make sure this was real.

Understand I lived in the world of gymnastics and I had a different philosophy on private lessons even within my own sport. I only did private lessons with my athletes when I felt like I was not getting the job done as a coach. I would request the lesson and then I did not charge the parent. If an athlete was really struggling with a fear, I would certainly go in and work with them, but I felt it was not right to take people's money especially if they were not behind in any way. Looking back I know I could have made a significant amount of money doing private lessons over the years, but I did not take advantage of that revenue stream and I am still okay with that.

It seems parents are always looking for that extra something which will give their child the competitive edge in their sport and private lessons are one avenue they can take. I have found each sport is different and each club within the sport has their own philosophy as well. Some coaches make private lessons mandatory for each player or you cannot be on the team. Some coaches make privates optional and others do not require them at all. Again, you have to look for the kind of program you want to be a part of and make sure their values line up with yours.

What I find fascinating is how much parents will spend for one lesson. Depending on the situation, the amount can range from $30-$100 per lesson. I know parents who spend over $1,000 a month for lessons in addition to their normal fees. The real question is will this give their child a significant advantage over the other athletes? Many say yes and here is why. The obvious advantage is the one on one time your athlete gets to spend with the coach. The coach is able to focus on things very specific to your athlete and work on fixing those trouble areas. The athlete will not have the distractions of other practice activities or friends to keep them from concentrating on the task at hand. Often, they will get a lot more reps during one on one time because they do no have to wait in line or wait on a coach to help them. There are definite pros to private lessons if they are used the correct way.

My advice is this. Be very careful of the coach who tells you your child is going to be the next big star and tries to convince you they need private lessons multiple times a week to get there. I hate to sound jaded, but I know those kinds of coaches are out there and they are not in it for your child. They are willing to take your money while feeding the dream your child will be a star. I had one coach tell me he could promise a college scholarship in softball for my daughter if she just did private lessons with him and paid him $2,000 a quarter. She was 9 years old. I laughed and told him we were just fine doing what we were doing. Don't get caught up in the "keeping up with the Jones" because your child will develop in their own time. Just because one parent has their athlete in private lessons does not mean you have to follow along. Do what you think is best for your child and do what you think is going to keep them motivated and loving the sport.