What kind of parent are you?

I am a people watcher. I love sitting back and seeing how many different reactions one situation can elicit out of a group of people. Everyone is different and everyone's experiences feed into what kind of reaction they have. Do you yell at your child when they miss a free throw or do you clap and tell them it is okay? Do you turn around and stomp off when they strike out or do you tell them they will get it next time? I promise every coach has a very good idea of what kind of sports parent you are by your behavior and the behavior of your athlete.

I am not the perfect sports parent. I sit by myself away from other parents and likely give off the impression I want nothing to do with anyone. Not only do I come across as anti-social, but people assume I am angry or am simply not a nice person. Why do I do this? It is very simple. When my daughter started playing softball, she always played first base. Because of her position on the field, I always sat on the first base side so if she turned around she knew I was there. When she needed a little reassurance during the game or if she made an error, she knew where to look to find me. I would, and still do, usually respond with a smile and a thumbs up. She finds comfort in me sitting there and I find comfort in knowing she always knows where I am.

My son played goalie on his soccer team. My husband and I would always sit at the end of the field by the goal he was playing in. Again, he knew were to find us and if he had a good save or missed some, we were right there near him offering a smile or a "you got this." He traded in his soccer cleats for football cleats and I do not have a designated spot yet, but you can bet next season I will. My husband or I make it to all the kids' games. We sometimes have to divide and conquer, but as long as one of us is there, the kids understand. Our kids are also lucky to have two sets of grandparents, siblings, and aunts and uncles who try to make it to their sporting events as well.

There are many different sports parent archetypes. We are going to start with 8 described by Team Travel Source and look into others later on. Those 8 are listed here and in the coming week, I will go into greater detail on each one.

The Exemplary Parent: This parent makes sure their child is at every practice and game on time, with their needed equipment, let you know if their child will not be there, and pay their bills. They support their child, the other children, the coach, and the other parents. They want the team to do well and will help in any way they can without overstepping.

The Uber-Competitive Parent:They value winning above all else and expect their child to compete at the highest level they can. They become frustrated when they perceive their child or another child on the team is not giving it their best effort. They do not understand how others can play "for fun" and may offer advice to the coaches on what needs to be done with the team to help them win.

The "Whatever" Parent: This particular parent simply has the "whatever" attitude when it comes to their child's sport. Practices and games are often secondary to other things going on in their lives and they will only take them when it is convenient. They do not participate in team activities and may or may not know any of the other parents. They do not worry about their child's effort or how they are doing.

The "I'm Living Vicariously Through My Child" Parent: This parent tends to put a lot of pressure on their child and may have more passion for the sport than they do. They use the phrase, "when I played..." when talking to anyone who wants to hear their story. This parents tends to be most frustrating when they played the sport their child is now playing.

The Outspoken Parent: A positive- outspoken parent can be a coach's best advocate. They will speak to anyone about how wonderful the program is and how wonderful their child is. They will defend the program and their child to the bitter end. The negative-outspoken parent can cause a lot of problems. This parent will call out their own child in front of everyone if they think they are not doing something they should be. They will question the coaches in front of other people as well as other parents, officials, or people from the opposing team.

The "Coach" Parent: They have a tendency to tell their own child (and others) what he/she should be doing during the game from the sidelines. Sometimes the advice will be the same as the coach and other times it will conflict. This parent will talk to you after the game or send an email detailing what is wrong and how it should be corrected.

The Critic: This parent will never be happy. They will always find something to complain about whether it be their child, another child, the coaching, or the refs. Other parents tend to stay away from them.

"My Child is a Star" Parent: This is what I call the "rose colored glasses" parent. This parents thinks their child is the best one on the team and is vital to the team's win/loss record. They tend to be the parents that team hop and complain that their child is not getting enough playing time. They complain about the other players that play the same position and how they are not as good as their own child.

I believe almost every team has at least one of each type of parent. Coaches have to deal with all of these behaviors, other parents have to deal with these behaviors, but most importantly the athletes have to deal with them. Depending on the developmental stage the athlete is in will, in many ways, determine how well they will react to the dynamics around them. The priority should be the child and helping them deal with all the different personalities around them in a positive way.

Coming tomorrow... "The Uber Competitive" Parent