What makes a good coach?

I had the privilege of attending multiple sporting events over the past couple weeks. It is wonderful to see kids back competing and doing the sports they love. One thing I always find fascinating is all the different coaching styles you see on display at any sporting event. You will see the coaches who stand back and let other coaches take control. You will see some coaches step in and take over when it is not their place to do so. You have the coaches who lead their team confidently and let the scoreboard do the talking. And finally, you have the coaches who behave as though everyone has come to watch them and not the athletes.

As a parent, I am always watching how a coach interacts with their athletes. As a coach, I am watching and listening to other coaches to learn from them and pull from their knowledge. As athletes, my kids watch how the other coaches treat their players and how they react to situations. As I have said before, there are coaches I look at and think, "I will never let my kid play for him/her." I either do not like the way they speak to the athletes or their behavior on or off the court/field/floor. I listen to what my kids say when they get in the car about the other coaches. They hear more than I do and likely have a better feel for how they coach.

Many successful athletes will have a confidence about them. Some have a quiet confidence, some put it on full display, and others require a certain amount of outside reinforcement (being told how wonderful they are) to maintain their level of confidence. Confidence is many times the difference in an athlete being good and an athlete being great. Coaching is the same way. To be a successful coach you must have a certain amount of confidence in your abilities. I feel now is the time to point out some of the best coaches were great athletes, some of the best coaches were never athletes, and some of the best athletes cannot coach at all. I am not sure why it is assumed a good athlete equals a good coach. This just is not true. Maybe you played college or professional ball- that is fantastic! You are one of the elite in your sport, but that does not mean you know how to handle a 10 year old who is sobbing because they missed a shot, struck out, or fell three times on an event. Coaching youth sports is about understanding the kids as much as it is about understanding the sport.

The reality is great coaching does not require you to have been the best athlete in your trade. I doesn't even require you to have played the sport you are coaching. Two of the best coaches I know never did a day of gymnastics in their lives, but they have something others do not and that is the ability to communicate effectively with their athletes. They have spent hours and hours studying the technical aspects of the skills so they can teach them correctly. They also have an understanding of how a child thinks and can then translate the technical to language a child can relate to.

For most of my coaching career I worked with younger athletes ages 6-9 years old. Over time I had created a whole different language to help them understand what I wanted them to do. I know the importance of athletes knowing what muscles to use and how they work to make a task easier, but some kids just don't understand the technical terms yet. Introduce those terms, but have a back up ready to go. Having a strong core is important for injury prevention, balance, coordination, and helps make every day life skills easier right? Does a 6 year old really worry about those things at their age? No. By ages 5-7, young children can understand and learn to use a word by its definition (Gracepointwellness.org) I would use the term core, but I also called it their "Sponge Bob body" because it was easy and more fun for them to then picture what I was talking about. Being able to relate to them is fun for coaches too. It gives you a chance to be creative and increases your ability to relate to as many kids as possible.

Teenagers require coaches to communicate in a whole different way. If I was serious and told them to focus on keeping their "Sponge Bob body tall" some would look at me and laugh while the majority would roll their eyes and think I am the most lame adult on the planet. With teenagers, it is about communicating you care about them as a whole person. Look them in the eye so they know you are listening to them. Ask for their opinion by having them tell you what correction they think they need to make in order to improve what skill they are working on. Encourage them to laugh at themselves when they make a mistake and laugh along with them so they know it is okay. Their brains are more developed so they are better able to understand the physics of sport, but still some are verbal and some are visual learners. And let's remember they are still kids at the end of the day.

The best youth coaches are those with the technical knowledge and the ability to communicate with all types of athletes. They are the ones who are able to calm down their athlete when they make a mistake and help them learn from it. Those coaches are the ones with a passion for the sport and a passion for the athletes. Coaching is so much more than a paycheck.

"I am a coach because of the kids and the passion I have for the sport itself. There is no other feeling quite like helping young athletes further develop their natural persistence, determination, discipline, dedication, resiliency, work ethic, heart, leadership skills, connection with, and respect for others, not only in competition, but in life!"

-Author Unknown